Dr. Hugh Manatee has an office in Los Angeles, California. He is a physiatrist to all forms of life but specializes in aquatic life.

He chain-smokes, farts, belches, loves fast food, laughs at his own jokes and makes fun of his patients but always dispenses the right advice.

Perhaps, this is just a thought, each time he has a patient we give quick background info of the creature in a spoken voice like you hear at the end of a car commercial were they speak really fast.

Intro: XCU striking a match. Amber glow fills the screen. Hyper-pull out to reveal Dr. Hugh Manatee—PHD of Life, as he takes a huge drag from his cigarette.

The Dr. is in:

Dr. Manatee is sitting in his chair smoking.

Across from him on the couch is one very small krill.

VOICE OVER:
(Krill (euphausiids) are small, shrimp-like crustaceans that swim in the seas. These pink, translucent animals congregate in large, dense masses called "swarms" or "clouds," that turn areas of the ocean's surface pink. Krill are very important in the food web since many animals eat them. There are about 85 species of krill, ranging in size from under 0.5 inch (1 cm) up to 5.5 inches (14 cm) long.)

DR. MANATEE
So what do you want to talk about?

The krill speaks in a very low dominating voice. He has a nose ring and a tattoo. The tattoo is of Popeye. He is buff and even perhaps juicing. His name is JEFF.

JEFF
(He gives the Dr. a look)
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!
Look at me. A shrimp could kick my ass!

DR. MANATEE
Feel small do you?

JEFF
That’s funny doc. I just don’t stand out in the cloud.

DR. MANATEE
Seriously, the best way to be an individual is to stop trying to be so individual. Sometimes the ones who aren’t concerned w/standing out, stand out.

JEFF
You don’t like the nose ring? Do you?

DR. MANATEE
I could go either way.

CUT TO: NEW SCENE

Dr. Manatee is sitting, smoking and across from him is a Sea Urchin named Bob.

VOICE OVER:
(The sea urchin is a spiny, hard-shelled animal that lives on the rocky seafloor, from shallow waters to great depths. These globular marine invertebrates move very slowly along the seabed. Sea urchins eat plant and animal matter, including kelp, decaying matter, algae, dead fish, sponges, mussels, and barnacles.)

DR. MANATEE
So, Bob, how are you doing?

BOB
….

The Dr. stares at Bob.

CUT TO: NEW SCENE

Dr. Manatee is sitting, smoking and across from him is a Elvin a Porpoise.

VOICE OVER:
(Burmeister's Porpoises have a beakless upturned mouth and a slight indentation at the location of the blowhole. Their flippers are large, with a broad base and blunt tips. The tailstock thickens with age. The body is dark-gray or black in color, occasionally appearing brown, and lightens to a pale gray underneath. A few moments after death, the porpoise turns entirely black. This porpoise could be confused with the similar Chilean Dolphin and Spectacled Porpoise. These porpoises take fish and squid.)

DR. MANATEE
Haven’t seen you in a while. How’ve you been Elvin?

ELVIN
Workin’ like a bitch. Still bein’ treated like a second-class citizen.

DR. MANATEE
Why? Cause you’re black?

ELVIN
No, cause everyone’s glad to meet me until they find out I’m a Porpoise and not a fuckin’ Dolphin! Dolphins? Come on! Everyone thinks they’re so smart! Why?! Cause of Flipper, Starkist…? Come on Doc.!

DR. MANATEE
Well I’ve never been a huge fan of the Dolphin, but you shouldn’t let your feelings for them over come you. Why do you care what Dolphins think?

Pause.

ELVIN
Hot Dolphin ass.

The doctor’s face and hair go WHAT!

CUT TO: NEW SCENE

Dr. Manatee is sitting, smoking and across from him is a Sea Urchin named Bob.

The Dr. is still staring at Bob.

Bob just sits there.

CUT TO: NEW SCENE

Dr. Manatee is sitting, smoking and across from him is a Puffer Fish named Jerry.

(The Pufferfish is also known as the blowfish, fugu, swellfish, and globefish. It is called the pufferfish because when it is threatened, it puffs up to about twice its normal size by gulping water. In this engorged state, the pufferfish can swim at only about half its normal speed. Pufferfish are carnivores (meat-eaters). They eat corals, sponges, sea urchins, other echinoderms, and small crustaceans. Pufferfish crush and grind up their prey with their heavy, fused teeth Many parts of the blowfish (including the liver, muscles, skin, and ovaries) contain an extremely strong, paralyzing poison called tetrodoxin. This poison is about a thousand times deadlier than cyanide. There is no known antidote for this poison. Fugu (torafugu or fugu rubripes, Japanese pufferfish) is eaten in Japan, but is only cooked by specially-trained chefs who can minimize the amount of poison. Even so, many Japanese diners have died from eating this poisonous delicacy..)

In the background we can hear faint music playing from a clock radio.

DR. MANATEE
Jerry is it?

Dr. Manatee lights a cigarette.

JERRY
Yes.

DR. MANATEE
Ok Jerry what seems to be the problem?

JERRY
Well Dr. Manatee. I’m a Blowfish and…

Jerry begins blowing Dr. Manatee’s smoke away from his immediate area.

JERRY
…I’m a fireman and…

DR. MANATEE
I’m sorry did you say you’re a fireman?

JERRY
Yes, anyways…I’m having trouble finding enough work to make a living…

Blowing.

JERRY
…and support my family.

Blowing.

JERRY
So you can see my problem…

Blowing

DR. MANATEE
Jerry perhaps you are…

Staying Alive by the Bee Gees comes on the radio

DR. MANATEE
Hold on just a sec…

Dr. Manatee reaches over and turns up the radio. He starts to sing along.

DR. MANATEE
You can tell by the way I use my walk I’m woman’s man no time to talk…

Jerry is beside himself.

DR. MANATEE
I’m Stayin’ Aliveeeeeeeeee, Aliveeeeeeeee, Oh Yeah!

Dr. Manatee reaches back over and turns the radio down.

DR. MANATEE
OK sorry about that, I love the Bee Gees. To be honest with you Jerry you’re going to have a pretty tough time finding many fires UNDER water. May I suggest that maybe what you really need is purpose in your life.

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